Celebrating the Miracle of My Life

Celebrating the Miracle of My Life

Mother's day at Kunal's Kindergarten class

Today I am celebrating the 27^th birthday of my first-born son Kunal. Kunal was the first blessing for my positive attitude towards life and the direct result of the power of intention.

Kunal all grown up!

About 28 years ago, all I knew was that I had the intention to stay positive and have a child despite being diagnosed with a tumor on my pituitary gland. I was told that I would probably lose my eyesight, live only 20 more years and, worst of all, I was told that I would not be able to conceive a child, and, if I did, I would not be able to carry it full term.

At that time, I wasn’t planning to have a child; I was busy doing my Masters in Mechanical Engineering at the time.  But, the probability that I would never have a child broke my heart.  Till that moment, I did not know having a child and being a mom was so important to me.  I didn’t care about only living 20 more years or going blind, but I could not stop crying at the thought of dying without ever being a mother.

I left the doctor’s office with the horrible news and went straight to my husband’s office still crying.  This was a shock to him too. Even though we were not planning to start a family yet - I was still in school and he had just started his new business – we agreed we should start trying to get pregnant right away.  Low and behold, 3 months later I was pregnant.  We overcame the first prediction that I was not be able to conceive!

We started the journey of carrying the pregnancy to full term under strict doctor’s observation.   At one checkup, the doctor could not hear the baby’s heart. The nightmare seemed to be coming true. I was sent for an ultra sound and, to our relief, the baby waved his hand as if saying “Mom, I am okay.”  The technicians cheered with us at the sight of that waving hand.  I was placed on strict easy life order by the doctor.  No stress, no travel, no hard work. It was great. I felt fine, I was not sick and I had a forced vacation. 

The baby was growing fine. We waited for the due date with the option to have an emergency C-section at any sign of trouble.  The plan was that the baby would grow in the incubator and I would have brain surgery if we saw a problem with the baby or my tumor.

The due date came and went and I was still good and healthy except I gained a lot of weight. I was eating everything by the book, did not want to deprive my baby of anything while he was waiting to come out into this world. If I went to surgery after that he might have had to live without my care for some time while I was ready to take care of him.

Six days past the due date on November 3, 1988, 27 years ago, I gave birth to my beautiful and healthy son Kunal.  We have been celebrating the ‘miracle’ of my life, my son’s birth, for 27 years now, and every year I can’t help but think of how much I wanted to be his mother. If I was scared or had given into the negative thoughts of not being able to conceive, I would not be celebrating this miracle and joy for the last 27 years. I wanted a baby at any cost. The cost was inconsequential; my eye was only on the prize of holding my baby.  I got it!  Incidentally, after Kunal’s birth, the tumor disappeared.

Two years later, we were blessed with another bundle of joy, love and laughter, his brother Rahul.  I feel like I have been blessed with two sons because I wanted to be their mother so much that nothing was going to get in the way of accomplishing that goal.

 

Kunal(5) with his brother Rahul(3)

I am grateful to be celebrating my son’s birthday today and being a mother!

               *****

Pick up my book:

Learning to L.I.V.E. was written to increase awareness of domestic abuse  and eradicate this cancer from our society by empowering women and men who are suffering due to this epidemic.  My goal is to help them believe that they deserve a life in freedom and self-love.  

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Can amazing news and good feelings be overwhelming?

Today, I awoke to the amazing news that I will be presented the 2016 Hind Rattan award in India on January 25, 2016. As I write this, I find that I am at a loss for words and feel completely overwhelmed – overwhelmed with gratitude that the universe has been so appreciative and generous.

Recently, I wrote about my trip to London, England to accept the Mahatma Gandhi Parvasi award.  This award was given to only a few people of Indian origin living outside of India for their good and inspirational work.  People travelled from around the world to accept this prestigious award. It was an amazing experience that I was able to share with my sons. 

Upon returning to Malibu, I plunged back into my work and published a beautiful October/November issue of Malibu Chronicle magazine. The magazine is very well liked and received. Within two days of hitting the stands and delivery to Malibu homes, we started to

hear from our happy advertisers that they were already getting calls. Our online publication www.MalibuChronicle.com is growing in following, and our clients are getting calls and leads from their ads and articles online.  One of our online advertisers reported he received 35 leads in just a little over a month of being with us. All in all, I am happy to report we are doing well! 

I am also pleased to be a part of the team bringing Peer Mediation to Our Lady of Malibu (OLM) School.  OLM is the first school in Malibu to offer Peer Mediation as a course elective, teaching children how to resolve conflicts peacefully instead of with anger and force.  As one of the teachers in this program, I get to use my skills as a mediator with an MDR, Masters in Dispute Resolution from Straus Institute at Pepperdine Law School.

In the last couple of weeks I was invited and nominated to be the co-chair of the Entertainment and Tourism Committee for BizFed, the Los Angeles Business Federation.  I am honored, and even though it is a significant time and work commitment, I want to be part of a wonderful group like that, where I feel I can make a difference.  I am currently talking to our Malibu Chamber of Commerce to see if I can also represent them in this organization. I have attended a couple of meetings at BizFed through SABAN, South Asian Biz Awards Nationwide, and have learned BizFed is very well connected with businesses nationwide. It has an elite membership with a seat at the White House level. I believe I can help bring state and national recognition and support for our Malibu business issues.

Amidst all these events, I woke up today with an email from NRI Welfare Society of India, the same organization that presented the Mahatma Gandhi Parvasi Samman  to me in September. They have selected me for an even more prestigious award  - HIND RATTAN AWARD, 2016. This will be presented to me in New Delhi, India (the Capital of India) among the celebrations of India’s Constitution day on January 25, 2016.  I am so overwhelmed by this good news that I still have not responded to the Advisory Board for this huge honor. I am still letting it sink in before I can properly respond.

The universe is wonderfully accepting and appreciating my work and me in general. I am grateful to all good things and people in my life. It just is overwhelming sometime, in a good way of course!

               *****

Pick up my book:

Learning to L.I.V.E. was written to increase awareness of domestic abuse  and eradicate this cancer from our society by empowering women and men who are suffering due to this epidemic.  My goal is to help them believe that they deserve a life in freedom and self-love.  

Buy your copy on Amazon 

Buy your copy for Kindle

Key Elements for Solving Conflicts

Key Elements for Solving Conflicts

I sometimes wish grown people acted like grown people and not like children. 

Children who learn to resolve disputes peacefully will be able to deal with disagreements better when they grow up by using the skills they learned from their more peaceful role models.

One of the most important things in resolving disputes is to acknowledge it to yourself and not ignore it. 

Next, it is important to know with whom you have the conflict, and what your relationship is with them.

You have to find a calm, clear and peaceful way to communicate your grievance to the other party.

You must give the other party an opportunity to say their side.  You must listen peacefully, with the intention to understand what is being said. 

Most conflicts take place because of a simple misunderstanding. Misunderstandings only grow when grievances are ignored.   

Misunderstandings can be cleared and relationships can be salvaged if grown-ups act as mature adults. The same principles can be taught to children through good example.

Both parties must be willing to apologize if they realize they are in the wrong.

Everyone needs to keep an open mind and not judge anyone without knowing a definitive wrongdoing.

To achieve a peaceful lifestyle, it is important for everyone to remember author Don Miguel Ruiz’s Four Principles:

1.     Be impeccable with your word.

2.     Don’t take anything personally.

3.     Don’t make assumptions.

4.     Always do your best.

Life is not as hard as we make it out to be with unnecessary dark clouds of complications from misunderstandings, assumptions and harsh words.

Let’s please revisit our part in the conflict and try to understand the other person before we take things too far and misbehave. Let’s keep the love alive, for ourselves and for others.  That is all that matters!

Veera

Receiving Mahatma Gandhi Parvasi Samman

Receiving Mahatma Gandhi Parvasi Samman 

This past summer, the Los Angeles Business Journal recognized Malibu Chronicle as one of the best small businesses in Los Angeles. At that awards ceremony, I met Mr. Mohammad Islam, President of the SABAN (South Asian Business Alliance Network), and we spoke about promoting my book, ‘Learning to L.I.V.E’.  Some time later, Mr. Islam introduced me to Mr. Singh who is in the publishing business. He thought Mr. Singh could help promote my book in the Indian market, and that, with our common business and publishing backgrounds, it might be good for us to meet. He told Mr. Singh about my life, my business background, my inspirational ‘All Good News’ magazine Malibu Chronicle, and my self help book about how to recognize the signs of domestic abuse and how to find a life after abuse. Mr. Singh graciously agreed to meet us for a half hour at his hotel near the LAX airport.

That short meeting quickly turned into a family affair.  Mr. Singh invited his wife and nephew to come meet us. He had many questions for me, and we spoke openly for a long time. He wanted to know about my life and my journey from Michigan to Malibu, from software engineer to publisher, from living in a traditional role of wife and mother, to being free to do and live my life on my terms.  We also talked about my most recent life journey on the peace path with my education in Spiritual Psychology at the University of Santa Monica, and conflict management, having just received a Masters Degree in Dispute Resolution from Pepperdine University Law School. By the end of the meeting, we had made plans to meet again in L.A. and India to discuss more business opportunities.   

At that time, Mr. Islam and I did not know that Mr. Singh, while travelling throughout the U.S. and other countries, was also in search of worthy candidates for an upcoming event at the House of Lords in London, UK in which individuals of Indian origin living outside of India are recognize and honored for making the name of India shine with their inspirational work and lives.

A few days after our meeting, Mr. Islam and I received an email from

Mr. Deepak Singh that he had nominated me to the NRI Welfare Society of India for the Mahatma Gandhi Parvasi Samman award. The award is named after Mahatma Gandhi because he was an Indian living outside of India when he began his amazing journey that brought freedom to the country.  Parvasi means Indian living outside of India, and Samman is the honor. I was surprised and could not believe the email, so I called Mr. Islam. He was happy for me and told me that he would confirm the details with Mr. Singh, which he did. He also said let’s wait and see what happens with the nomination.

Two weeks later, I received an email from Mr. Singh that the board accepted my nomination.  He said that the decision of who would receive the award would be made soon. He also told me that, if I were one of the awardees, he would like me to go to London to accept the award at the House of Lords; it would be a good place to meet the other awardees from around the world.

This started to seem real, but though I wasn’t sure I would be going to London, I still needed to start making tentative plans. I wanted my sons Kunal and Rahul to come with me, and I had to make sure they were available the end of September.

Then it happened.  In early August, Mr. Singh wrote that I had been chosen as one of the awardees at the House of Lords this year!!  It was real! I had to decide quickly if I was going to accept the award in person, which meant I had to buy the tickets and ask my sons to clear their schedules.

This was the first time I would be away from Malibu during the “crunch” week for the magazine, getting the October issue ready to go to print. I would be back in time to go over the layout, but a lot of work is necessary before then. My staff had to assume a huge responsibility. I had to trust JC, our Director of Operations, and Sue, our Editor, to manage without me being physically present to oversee every step as I usually do.  They encouraged me to go and assured me that it was good for the magazine. Thanks to both JC and Sue’s commitment, and the wishes and encouragement from the rest of the staff, I was able to take this trip.

I reached London with my sons on the morning of September 21st.  After a short rest, we met Mr. Singh and a few other delegates at the Hotel and headed to the House of Lords. It was all very formal.  We reached the Tower and each handed the guard our individual invitation card required to enter the Gates to the House of Lords.  We walked into the reception hall, which was filling with dignitaries, officers of the organization, and delegates. We were meeting everyone for the first time at this reception.  Delegates had come from around the world to be part of this prestigious event. Most of them had come with their families.  I imagined that, just like me, they wanted to share this once in a lifetime moment with their loved ones as they received this illustrious award named after Mahatma Gandhi.

We were seated at long decorated tables.  The servers offered appetizers and drinks as people were being seated and introductions were being announced.  After dinner, the award ceremony began.  The Mistress of Ceremonies announced the names and a brief background of each delegate receiving the award. The Minister of Tourism and cultural affairs of the Seychelles, Mr. Alain St. Ange presented the award medals, and the Right Honorable Baroness Sandip Verma, Minister of International Development, U.K., handed the award certificate to each delegate. The cameras of the professional photographers and proud family members flashed with every award, and the hall was roaring with applause in recognition of every awardee. The atmosphere was euphoric.

Then I heard my name announced. I stood to receive the award. My sons Kunal and Rahul followed me, capturing the moment in pictures - the pictures I later sent to JC, who posted them on Facebook.

After all the main awards were delivered, the Minister of Seychelles expressed his thanks to the NRI Welfare society for inviting him to the ceremonies. To everyone’s surprise, he then announced that he had awards for two very special people he met during this visit.  I was shocked when I heard him call my name. He invited me to the stage again, where he presented me with a beautiful award and extended an official invitation to the India day celebrations in the Seychelles, or to use any time to visit the Seychelles as his guest.  I was overwhelmed with this honor and invitation.

It was wonderful to have my sons there to share this amazing experience with me. I feel blessed.

I am proud of the work my staff and I put into bringing this beautiful magazine to you every two months. This prestigious award is a good sign that our work is being noticed and recognized around the globe.

I tell everyone I am a shameless networker and salesperson, so, of course, my luggage was full of Malibu Chronicle magazines and a few of my books.  I used the Minister’s speech about my magazine as an opportunity to share them with some delegates and other visitors. Soon, people were flocking around asking for the magazine and my business cards. They asked if I would do speaking engagements, and wanted to talk to me about other events and awards.

It was a proud and wonderful evening for the Malibu Chronicle and for me. I am grateful that I was able to attend, and I thank all my staff, family, and friends for their support that made it possible.

Do I feel totally happy, blessed and fortunate? You bet I do!!

Learning to L.I.V.E.

Loving yourself is the hardest thing to learn.

Insisting on Freedom is the most important thing to do.

Victory over victim syndrome is the surest way to be really free.

Empowerment is your birthright, and you deserve it!

Do I feel totally happy, blessed and fortunate? You bet I do!!

I am in this state of JOY, not because I found my soul mate or won a Mega Lottery. I feel completely happy and blessed because I feel loved and cared for by the Universe.  When I pay attention to what the Universe is telling me, everything seems to fall into place. I am fortunate because I have my family and friends who love me, and are always available and willing to listen to me when I need to brainstorm to make sure I am on the right path of taking care of ME.

I feel loved because I know that, even when I am not sure about my choices, someone much bigger than me is looking out for me.  I have felt this over and over in my life. When I’m not being true to myself, and I am compromising or settling for something less than I deserve, the Universe makes sure it intervenes. It lets me know that I am not on the right path and that I am not making the right decision by sending me the feeling of discomfort or incompleteness.

My normal self is usually singing, dancing and smiling. When I am off my destined path of self-love and care, I can see myself losing those inherent qualities about me. I stop singing and I don’t dance as much. I try to be happy, but I have this nagging feeling of being incomplete or misplaced. I know inside that I am not happy on my path. I decide to change it, but then allow myself to be convinced by others to abandon my decision in order to keep someone else happy, even when I know that is wrong. I have done this many times and I have failed every time. I have always known and now firmly believe that I cannot make someone else happy for long unless they want to make themselves happy. I choose not to sacrifice my joy. Being in joy is the only indication that I am doing the right thing. Someone very wise once told me, “If it is not FUN, don’t do it.” I finally believe it.

That uncomfortable, joyless state, when I can’t sing and dance, does not leave till I truly listen to my inner self, and make the tough decision of saying NO to what is bothering me. It is my job to take care of myself.  Short of actually talking to me in a big thunderous noise (like in movies), I see the Universe doing everything to show me when I need to fix my ways and what I need to do. All I have to do is listen to my inner self and choose the path of JOY. I deserve to be in joy all the time. We all deserve that, and can have it if only we learn to listen to our inner selves. We all know when we are happy and we also know when we are not. We have a choice. We have a choice to choose JOY.

The Universe loves you!! Love yourself!! And Enjoy living Your Life!