STAYING CALM and FEELING BLESSED!
I was at work today while my son Rahul was in a car accident. While driving down our hill, he slipped off gravel and drove into a cement block. He did not call me because for one he did not want to disturb me during my photo shoot and secondly he thought (he told me later), I might yell at him and blame him for damaging the car and he would be in trouble.
I only found out about the accident because I got a text from AAA that they were at my house to pick up the car. Of course I right away called him, that is when he very hesitatingly told me that he ran into the cement bolder and the car is pretty badly damaged. He had to walk back up the hill to call AAA. He had to tow away the car to the closest gas station because it was not drivable. I assumed he was okay, and I feel bad now remembering that I didn't even ask him if he was okay. All I said was, okay I will call you as soon as I am done. I could clearly hear the fear and shame in his voice but I didn’t say anything to reassure him.
I called him as soon as I finished my shoot. He told me where he had sent the car. I told him I was going to stop by and see the damages for myself before the auto repair or insurance takes over so I could make informed decisions about the repair and quotes for repair. I was horrified to see how bad the car was damaged. Part of the front bumper was missing. The tire was completely flat and damaged. The car was not drivable. The mechanic told me that the electric wires were cut from the impact. At that time, I sensed the intensity of the impact that may have had on my son.
I took some pictures of the car and called him again. Asked him if he wanted anything. He said no. I knew by now he is just dreading to face me when I get home. I picked up some Chinese dinner and came home. My little puppy Nina was as usual waiting for me. I picked her up and she kissed me all over. I was happy to see her. Rahul still did not make a sound. He did not say Hi Mama, as he usually does when he is home. So, for the first time, I asked him how he was. He said Hi, in a low voice and apologized for the accident. I didn’t get upset and told him I was glad he was okay. He thanked me for not being upset at him. He said he was afraid that I would be upset and he didn’t want to stress me out. I told him that I would not be upset at him. It could happen to anyone and we all have gone through similar unfortunate accidents. I was just glad that it wasn’t worse and that he was okay. That is when he told me how bad the impact of the sudden accident was on him physically. His hand was hurting a lot and has back and shoulders were hurting too.
As I am writing this blog, I am realizing how often we take our loved ones for granted. We miss to tell them how much we love them and how important they are to us. I feel horrible for not telling him that earlier when I first called him, and I let him spend 3-4 hours thinking the worst of me, someone that he has to fear. I hope all my children know that for me, nothing is more important than their love and lives.
I love you beta Rahul, Kunal and Ritika. I love you too Nina. I am so happy to have you in my life. I am blessed to be your mom!
