Even though we make little decisions everyday of our lives,
it is difficult to make hard decisions that may affect our lives in the long
run, especially if they will affect someone else’s life. Decision-making is a real and important skill
to learn.
Making decisions in a hurry or when you are feeling sick,
agitated or pressured is never a good idea.
You have to allow yourself time; think it over and even sleep on it
before making a big decision. It is usually
difficult to take a decision back once you have agreed to do something for or with
someone without consequences, push-back, or at least embarrassment.
Being in a relationship is a very important decision that affects
yours and the other person’s life. Of With some relationships
you don’t have to think too much because they don’t change your life one way or
the other. Two people can have a friendly
relationship but still live very independent lives. In a family, even though you are related for
life, the kind of relationship you have with your family member begs you to
make a decision how much time you invest in it. Is this relationship good for
you and, if not, what is it worth to you to keep investing in it, or would you consider
distancing yourself from that relationship?
Sometimes, very tough decision-making is needed in a
romantic relationship too. Of course,
you like spending time with the person you love and it hurts if you have to
decide to end it. You have to consider
your feelings and the other person’s feelings in any relationship. That would be the key to a good
relationship. We would not hurt each
other if we always considered other’s feelings while satisfying our needs.
It is very important to know what you need in a
relationship. I, like many people, used
to think that considering my basic needs in a relationship was selfish, and I learned
to love and give too much at the cost of my own basic needs. I sometimes still
do. If you find it difficult to make a list of what you want-to-have (wishes) in a relationship, you should at least have a
list of what you have-to-have (needs)
so you do not over-compromise in any relationship. You must stay true to yourself and take care
of your basic needs. If you start feeling that you have to compromise your
basic needs and you are not happy doing that, maybe it is time to make that
very difficult decision. Remember that
it is your responsibility and right to take care of your self. Still do not rush, react or make any decision
while you are feeling distressed. Please
take your time, think about it, and discuss it with someone you trust, then
make your decision and stick with it. Your decisions affect you and someone
else, so be sure of your decision. Most
importantly, in any big decision-making, trust your heart. It will never steer
you wrong.
You deserve to be happy and feel loved 100% of the time. Love yourself!
Veera
*****
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