Making Important Decisions With a Sound Mind

Even though we make little decisions everyday of our lives, it is difficult to make hard decisions that may affect our lives in the long run, especially if they will affect someone else’s life.  Decision-making is a real and important skill to learn. 

Making decisions in a hurry or when you are feeling sick, agitated or pressured is never a good idea.  You have to allow yourself time; think it over and even sleep on it before making a big decision.  It is usually difficult to take a decision back once you have agreed to do something for or with someone without consequences, push-back, or at least embarrassment. 

Being in a relationship is a very important decision that affects yours and the other person’s life. Of   With some relationships you don’t have to think too much because they don’t change your life one way or the other.  Two people can have a friendly relationship but still live very independent lives.  In a family, even though you are related for life, the kind of relationship you have with your family member begs you to make a decision how much time you invest in it. Is this relationship good for you and, if not, what is it worth to you to keep investing in it, or would you consider distancing yourself from that relationship?

course, there are different types of relationships.

Sometimes, very tough decision-making is needed in a romantic relationship too.  Of course, you like spending time with the person you love and it hurts if you have to decide to end it.  You have to consider your feelings and the other person’s feelings in any relationship.  That would be the key to a good relationship.  We would not hurt each other if we always considered other’s feelings while satisfying our needs.

It is very important to know what you need in a relationship.  I, like many people, used to think that considering my basic needs in a relationship was selfish, and I learned to love and give too much at the cost of my own basic needs. I sometimes still do. If you find it difficult to make a list of what you want-to-have (wishes) in a relationship, you should at least have a list of what you have-to-have (needs) so you do not over-compromise in any relationship.  You must stay true to yourself and take care of your basic needs. If you start feeling that you have to compromise your basic needs and you are not happy doing that, maybe it is time to make that very difficult decision.  Remember that it is your responsibility and right to take care of your self.  Still do not rush, react or make any decision while you are feeling distressed.  Please take your time, think about it, and discuss it with someone you trust, then make your decision and stick with it. Your decisions affect you and someone else, so be sure of your decision.  Most importantly, in any big decision-making, trust your heart. It will never steer you wrong.

You deserve to be happy and feel loved 100% of the time.  Love yourself!

Veera

*****

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If you are angry ..

If you are angry, please take a few minutes to calm down so you can be rational, and remember to be kind before you respond.  Like Mom said, "If you can’t be Kind, be Quiet." This advice has helped me in more ways than I ever thought possible.

Kind words can be short and easy to speak, but their echoes are truly endless.

-Mother Teresa

Be mindful when it comes to words. A string of some that don’t mean much to you, may stick with someone else for a lifetime.

– anonymous

Before you speak, let your words pass through three gates:      

1. Is it True?

2. Is it Necessary?

3. Is it kind?

And then if you are still angry please check to see:

1. Does it have to be said now?

2. What could be the consequence of saying it?

3. Can I express my anger in a constructive, kind way?

I am not asking you to deny or silence your angry feelings. Instead I encourage you to honor your feelings by saying what you mean without being perceived as mean spirited.

Be your own kind of Beautiful!

Veera

*****

My mission is to increase awareness of domestic abuse and eradicate this cancer from our society by empowering women and men who are suffering due to this epidemic disease.  My goal is to help them believe that they deserve a life in freedom and self-love.  Learning to L.I.V.E a journey is just that a book to help you identify and say No to abuse and learn to L.I.V.E. 

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SETTING BOUNDARIES

IT MAY SEEM DIFFICULT BUT IT CAN AND MUST BE DONE. IT IS CALLED "SETTING BOUNDARIES"

DO NOT JUSTIFY, APOLOGIZE FOR,
OR RATIONALIZE THE HEALTHY
BOUNDARY YOU ARE SETTING.
DO NOT ARGUE.
JUST SET THE BOUNDARY CALMY, FIRMLY, CLEARLY,
AND RESPECTFULLY.
-Crystal Andrus

How do you know if something is not good for you?

The only way to know if something is good for you is to pay attention to how it makes you feel.

That inner feeling at your core that either makes you feel joy or gives you a nagging uncomfortable feeling is the only god given measure built inside of you to follow. To ignore that core feeling is to accept that which is less than joyful and right for you.

We stay in unwanted and unhappy situations when we make unhealthy choices for ourselves. If your core is telling you that something might look and feel good sometimes, but that temporary good feeling is at the cost of feeling bad and uncomfortable at other times, you know that is not right for you. You have to listen and pay attention to your own truth. That is your true friend. Your truth does not have to be the truth for anyone else.

Everyone deserves to be happy and it is your responsibility to create your own happiness. If you ignore your own heart and body that is telling you don’t do something and you do it anyway, you cannot blame anyone else for your unhappiness. You have to pay attention to your own feelings and use your own intellect to find out what is good for you. Do your own investigation and due diligence before you make any commitments or take on a new project or relationship.

It is good to always have a check and balance in all you do. As soon as something makes you feel bad or unhappy, you have to consult your ever-present inner counselor and communicate with your own core and values. That is the only best friend you have that always has your back and will not steer you wrong.

If you want to change your life from ‘Same-Old-Same-Old’ to a better future, you have to reinvestigate what you are doing the same-old-same-old way but expecting a new result. Isn’t that the definition of Insanity?  You cannot have a better life if you do not do better for yourself and make better choices. Remember, if you do what you've always done, you'll get what you've always gotten.

Once you have made a decision to change something in your life, the best way to make sure you do not repeat the same behavior for the same results is to totally detach yourself from the present uncomfortable situation and give yourself time to reevaluate yourself and what your role was in causing your unhappiness. Most importantly, do not try to do something different right away, most likely you will not pick a very different path and end up where you were again.

Take time, meditate, and let the good neutral feeling come back before trying to create another fun feeling. Don’t try too hard to be happy. Happiness will come! Be patient. Accept yourself, forgive yourself and be happy with yourself.

Remember, making yourself happy is no one else’s job. Don’t depend on anyone else to do that for you! Love yourself and do what is right for you! Be Happy with you first and let the universe bring you the rest!

Love and light to everyone!

Veera

****

My mission is to increase awareness of domestic abuse and eradicate this cancer from our society by empowering women and men who are suffering due to this epidemic disease.  My goal is to help them believe that they deserve a life in freedom and self-love.  Learning to L.I.V.E a journey is just that a book to help you identify and say No to abuse and learn to L.I.V.E.

To Buy on Paperback

To Buy on Kindle