Contemplate, make a decision, and don’t second-guess yourself.

Decisions are the hardest thing to do when it’s the choice between what is good for you and what you may want.  So it is always a good idea to take time, and weigh the pros and cons before you make a final decision. It’s good to not base your decisions solely on your likes or wants. If we did everything based on what we want or like, even when choosing what we eat, we would not be making good decisions for our health. We have to make tough choices and decisions for better and healthy bodies. It is true in everything else we do in life. 

One of the most important things I’ve learned is that life is full of decision-making. Life brings us to a fork in the road many times and we have to make a choice about which road to take. Sometimes the road we have to take doesn’t look like the most comfortable one, but the decisions we make and choices we make shape our lives. 

Whatever you decide, make sure in the end it makes you feel good about yourself and happy.  When your values are clear about what

you want in life and what kind of person you want to be, decision-making becomes easy. The right decisions are the hardest to make, but you have to do that if you want to have the kind of life you want and deserve.

Sometimes you might feel like you failed yourself by going back on your decisions. Don’t feel bad and don’t give up. Keep making the hard choices and keep doing what is right for you. Stay firm on your values and don’t compromise. Making mistakes and fixing them is part of life. Living is a constant process of deciding what to do for our growth and happiness.  All accomplishments happen with a decision to try. 

Don’t let your emotions make your decisions. Don’t make big decisions when you’re too happy or too sad. Use your intellect and calm collected mind. If your intellect is not fully present, borrow someone else’s that you can trust.  Ask for a counsel. Remember you can’t make progress without making and sticking to your decisions. Keep trying till it becomes second nature. The more you start depending on and loving your decisions, the less you will have to depend on others or wait for others to love your decisions.  

In relationships, do what you feel is right in your heart.  If something or someone does not feel right and is not good for your growth or happiness in the long run, don’t take too long to make that hard decision.  Sometimes being undecided is harder than making a wrong decision. “If you spend too much time thinking about a thing, you’ll never get anything done,” Bruce Lee once said.  At some point you have to realize that some people can stay in your heart, but not in your life. 

Every decision you make should take you closer to your goal.  You will know you have made the right decision when, despite making the hardest choice, your heart is a peace. Often, the hardest decision you make leads you to an easier life. 

Remember, you are the CEO of your life. It is your responsibility to make the executive decisions, including whom to let go or keep in your life.  Once you have made the decision, don’t look back. Make it work.  You can’t expect a change if you don’t make one. Once you make a decision to take care of yourself, the universe will conspire to make it happen. Respect yourself enough to walk away from anything that no longer serves you, helps you grow, or makes you happy.  

Above all, be the hero of your life, not the victim, and enjoy the life you deserve!

Veera 

*****

  

  

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Take Some Time to Clear Your Mind

I have been very busy lately with the magazine, my school, and mediations, and figuring out relationships. Haha! Figuring out relationships in itself is complicated and time consuming because it consumes all your emotions.

If you are overwhelmed with emotional decision-making it seems to take over everything else. You feel like you are running through time doing things while your mind and heart are stuck in time. When you find yourself in that space, I think it is good to physically move away for some time to give yourself room to clear your head and quiet your mind so you may realize what is good for you.

This weekend was perfect for clearing my head.  The new magazine had just come out, schoolwork was done, and no mediations were scheduled. It was a perfect time to take a break and go over my own internal mediation that I had been putting off. It’s good to have that talk with my inner Self every so often to find inner resolution and make peace with my Self.

I had an opportunity to visit some friends in Florida and spend time with our MC designer Tatiana. It gave me a much-needed break from an everyday busy schedule and a chance to just chill. I had to overcome my personal challenge and restrain myself from finding work. I realize that I am such a workaholic that I find work wherever I go. Please don't feel bad for me because I do enjoy working!

I also realize and accept that every so often I do need some time away from work to clear my head, to make right choices for myself, and to reconfigure the choices I have made so far that keep me so busy. It is all good!

All in all, I had a wonderful weekend in Ft. Lauderdale, Florida and I am on my way back to beautiful Malibu with a fresh and rested mind to take on life and whatever it brings my way.

Life is good!! It smiles back at you when you greet it with a smile!

Keep smiling!

Veera

*****

Be someone that makes you happy!

It is important to be happy with ourselves, our decision and our solitude. It is important to like ourselves enough so say no to any one who does not make you happy. If you have to walk away form someone that is not making you happy it is OKAY. It s better to be alone than to stay with someone that make you afraid, uncomfortable or unhappy. 

Before looking for someone else you want to be with, be the one that you want to be with. 

Veera

Making Important Decisions With a Sound Mind

Even though we make little decisions everyday of our lives, it is difficult to make hard decisions that may affect our lives in the long run, especially if they will affect someone else’s life.  Decision-making is a real and important skill to learn. 

Making decisions in a hurry or when you are feeling sick, agitated or pressured is never a good idea.  You have to allow yourself time; think it over and even sleep on it before making a big decision.  It is usually difficult to take a decision back once you have agreed to do something for or with someone without consequences, push-back, or at least embarrassment. 

Being in a relationship is a very important decision that affects yours and the other person’s life. Of   With some relationships you don’t have to think too much because they don’t change your life one way or the other.  Two people can have a friendly relationship but still live very independent lives.  In a family, even though you are related for life, the kind of relationship you have with your family member begs you to make a decision how much time you invest in it. Is this relationship good for you and, if not, what is it worth to you to keep investing in it, or would you consider distancing yourself from that relationship?

course, there are different types of relationships.

Sometimes, very tough decision-making is needed in a romantic relationship too.  Of course, you like spending time with the person you love and it hurts if you have to decide to end it.  You have to consider your feelings and the other person’s feelings in any relationship.  That would be the key to a good relationship.  We would not hurt each other if we always considered other’s feelings while satisfying our needs.

It is very important to know what you need in a relationship.  I, like many people, used to think that considering my basic needs in a relationship was selfish, and I learned to love and give too much at the cost of my own basic needs. I sometimes still do. If you find it difficult to make a list of what you want-to-have (wishes) in a relationship, you should at least have a list of what you have-to-have (needs) so you do not over-compromise in any relationship.  You must stay true to yourself and take care of your basic needs. If you start feeling that you have to compromise your basic needs and you are not happy doing that, maybe it is time to make that very difficult decision.  Remember that it is your responsibility and right to take care of your self.  Still do not rush, react or make any decision while you are feeling distressed.  Please take your time, think about it, and discuss it with someone you trust, then make your decision and stick with it. Your decisions affect you and someone else, so be sure of your decision.  Most importantly, in any big decision-making, trust your heart. It will never steer you wrong.

You deserve to be happy and feel loved 100% of the time.  Love yourself!

Veera

*****

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If you are angry ..

If you are angry, please take a few minutes to calm down so you can be rational, and remember to be kind before you respond.  Like Mom said, "If you can’t be Kind, be Quiet." This advice has helped me in more ways than I ever thought possible.

Kind words can be short and easy to speak, but their echoes are truly endless.

-Mother Teresa

Be mindful when it comes to words. A string of some that don’t mean much to you, may stick with someone else for a lifetime.

– anonymous

Before you speak, let your words pass through three gates:      

1. Is it True?

2. Is it Necessary?

3. Is it kind?

And then if you are still angry please check to see:

1. Does it have to be said now?

2. What could be the consequence of saying it?

3. Can I express my anger in a constructive, kind way?

I am not asking you to deny or silence your angry feelings. Instead I encourage you to honor your feelings by saying what you mean without being perceived as mean spirited.

Be your own kind of Beautiful!

Veera

*****

My mission is to increase awareness of domestic abuse and eradicate this cancer from our society by empowering women and men who are suffering due to this epidemic disease.  My goal is to help them believe that they deserve a life in freedom and self-love.  Learning to L.I.V.E a journey is just that a book to help you identify and say No to abuse and learn to L.I.V.E. 

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SETTING BOUNDARIES

IT MAY SEEM DIFFICULT BUT IT CAN AND MUST BE DONE. IT IS CALLED "SETTING BOUNDARIES"

DO NOT JUSTIFY, APOLOGIZE FOR,
OR RATIONALIZE THE HEALTHY
BOUNDARY YOU ARE SETTING.
DO NOT ARGUE.
JUST SET THE BOUNDARY CALMY, FIRMLY, CLEARLY,
AND RESPECTFULLY.
-Crystal Andrus

How do you know if something is not good for you?

The only way to know if something is good for you is to pay attention to how it makes you feel.

That inner feeling at your core that either makes you feel joy or gives you a nagging uncomfortable feeling is the only god given measure built inside of you to follow. To ignore that core feeling is to accept that which is less than joyful and right for you.

We stay in unwanted and unhappy situations when we make unhealthy choices for ourselves. If your core is telling you that something might look and feel good sometimes, but that temporary good feeling is at the cost of feeling bad and uncomfortable at other times, you know that is not right for you. You have to listen and pay attention to your own truth. That is your true friend. Your truth does not have to be the truth for anyone else.

Everyone deserves to be happy and it is your responsibility to create your own happiness. If you ignore your own heart and body that is telling you don’t do something and you do it anyway, you cannot blame anyone else for your unhappiness. You have to pay attention to your own feelings and use your own intellect to find out what is good for you. Do your own investigation and due diligence before you make any commitments or take on a new project or relationship.

It is good to always have a check and balance in all you do. As soon as something makes you feel bad or unhappy, you have to consult your ever-present inner counselor and communicate with your own core and values. That is the only best friend you have that always has your back and will not steer you wrong.

If you want to change your life from ‘Same-Old-Same-Old’ to a better future, you have to reinvestigate what you are doing the same-old-same-old way but expecting a new result. Isn’t that the definition of Insanity?  You cannot have a better life if you do not do better for yourself and make better choices. Remember, if you do what you've always done, you'll get what you've always gotten.

Once you have made a decision to change something in your life, the best way to make sure you do not repeat the same behavior for the same results is to totally detach yourself from the present uncomfortable situation and give yourself time to reevaluate yourself and what your role was in causing your unhappiness. Most importantly, do not try to do something different right away, most likely you will not pick a very different path and end up where you were again.

Take time, meditate, and let the good neutral feeling come back before trying to create another fun feeling. Don’t try too hard to be happy. Happiness will come! Be patient. Accept yourself, forgive yourself and be happy with yourself.

Remember, making yourself happy is no one else’s job. Don’t depend on anyone else to do that for you! Love yourself and do what is right for you! Be Happy with you first and let the universe bring you the rest!

Love and light to everyone!

Veera

****

My mission is to increase awareness of domestic abuse and eradicate this cancer from our society by empowering women and men who are suffering due to this epidemic disease.  My goal is to help them believe that they deserve a life in freedom and self-love.  Learning to L.I.V.E a journey is just that a book to help you identify and say No to abuse and learn to L.I.V.E.

To Buy on Paperback

To Buy on Kindle